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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23826799">A New Creature</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/thepointoftheneedle/pseuds/thepointoftheneedle'>thepointoftheneedle</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Riverdale (TV 2017)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Pet Store, Animal Shelter, Betty Cooper Pet Store Owner, Choni briefly, F/M, Fluff, Jughead Jones Wildlife Officer, Jughead is the reptile guy, Pangolin, Smut, The pangolin fic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 16:53:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,292</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23826799</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/thepointoftheneedle/pseuds/thepointoftheneedle</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Betty is trapped in a life she didn't choose and now there's a pangolin to add to her problems. Can the Fish and Wildlife Service Officer help her with any of her difficulties?  Can she help him with his?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Betty Cooper/Jughead Jones, Cheryl Blossom/Toni Topaz</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>117</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>7th Bughead Fanfiction Awards - Nominees</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Speed That Day On Its Way</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I was feeling uninspired so a friend gave me a writing prompt- "pangolin."  That's not an easy one but now I have a dream.  Either this will be the only thing in the fandom tagged pangolin OR it'll become a trope.  "Oh no, not another pangolin fic...I'm getting a bit sick of them..."<br/>By the way a pangolin is a critically endangered scaly anteater.  They are really hard to keep in captivity because they are so darned fussy about the very specific kind of termites they will eat. Yeah, I learned a lot about pangolins.</p><p>The title comes from a song by The Mountain Goats called White Cedar.  Here's a bit of the lyric.</p><p>White Cedar<br/>Like a star come down to walk the Earth in radiant array<br/>I saw the light of my spirit descend the other day<br/>I was standing the bus stop on North East 33rd<br/>I will be made a new creature<br/>I don't have to be afraid<br/>Speed that day on its way<br/></p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In terms of worst days ever this was top five with a bullet. First, she had three rescued kittens with no momma but an abundance of pink eye which meant that, in addition to the three hourly bottle feeds that were preventing her from getting any real sleep, she had to bathe their sore little faces with a solution of boric acid while they squirmed and mewled as if she was hurting them. Now, on top of that, there was definitely something wrong with Alonso. He looked “peaky” as Mrs Weasley would have said. She’d called the Fish and Wildlife Service as soon as he’d arrived last Tuesday and was promised that a wildlife inspector would be with her as soon as possible. She’d called again on Thursday and Friday and was assured that someone would come on Monday at the latest.  “It’s pretty urgent. Do you know anything about pangolins?” Betty asked the anonymous woman on the other end of the line. </p><p>“Is it a fish?” </p><p>“No…God, I wish. It’s a scaly anteater. He’s nocturnal and super clumsy, like a malfunctioning roomba knocking over the furniture all night. He smells like skunk. Not just him, they all do.  He’s got these huge scaly claws and he digs with them, everywhere, looking for termites. It’s just not ideal to have one in your house. You must be able to see my point. He needs specialist care. He’ll die here.”</p><p>“Well, I’m real sorry ma’am but with the funding cuts we’re so short staffed.  I’ll flag your case as most urgent and I promise to try to get this thing off your hands as soon as possible.”</p><p>Betty hung up feeling aggrieved on Alonso's behalf. “Thing,” indeed. </p><p>Then Ethel called in sick yet again. That meant that instead of being able to take a shower for the first time in two days and properly wash the kitten spit up out of her hair, she was going to have to do the morning feeds, clean out the pens, phone the feed supplier and ask for a payment extension again and then open the store.</p><p>This wasn’t what she’d dreamed of.  Her timetable was slipping further behind every year. Her friends were married, embarking on careers, living their best lives.  How could this be her destiny?  She deserved better.  She’d played by the rules.  She had a 4.0 in college and never even got crabs.  Her family had put a wrench in the engine of her future.  The plan had been to take a year, two at most, between her degree and vet school, save as much cash as possible and get some useful experience. There was nothing to go home for and she liked New Brunswick well enough to stay around after college so the job at Oscar’s pet store seemed perfect but now, without her ever consenting to it, it had trapped her, and she couldn’t see how to get back on the right track.  The shop revenue barely paid for what had rapidly become a busy animal shelter and she was nowhere with tuition money. She was exhausted and frustrated, worried about Alonso and she had kitten vomit in her hair. When the feed supplier yelled at her down the phone she burst into tears and hung up. After a purifying thirty minutes of crying Betty was startled by loud knocking on the shop door. Now she was late opening on top of everything.  She dashed from the office, almost tripping over a sleeping Alonso in the doorway and scrambled to unlock the door and turn the sign. </p><p>That was how Betty Cooper first met Jughead Jones, feline formula that had been into and then back out of a cat on her sweater and in her hair, circles under her eyes so dark she looked like a ghost girl in a Japanese movie, wearing thick socks but no shoes, breathless after having almost fallen over a spiny anteater. Like so much of her day, and her life actually, not ideal.</p><p>The man who she let into the store was in a uniform but somehow managed to make it look scruffy.  The tan shirt was unbuttoned far too low, revealing a crumpled tank top beneath it.  It had an official patch that she recognised as the Department of Fish and Wildlife. At last she was getting a break. “Hi, come in. You made it at last!”</p><p>He looked a little confused but seemed to have a prepared speech to give. “Ma’am. I’m Officer Jones with the Federal Fish and Wildlife Service. We have a report that you have a dangerous reptile on the premises so I’m here to investigate and, if necessary, seize the animal.”</p><p>“You’re not here for Alonso?” This was a blow. “A reptile? I’ve got a couple of corn snakes. They aren’t dangerous though.”</p><p>“Miss, I don’t think I’d have been sent all the way down here from Newark to look at a corn snake. The report is that you have,” he consulted a sheet of paper that he’d brought in with him, “a scary ass lizard like a kimono dragon or some shit.” I’m going to assume that the person reporting means a Komodo dragon.  Do you have a ten foot carnivorous lizard on the premises?”</p><p>Betty was about done with this shit. “Hm, not sure, maybe one snuck in when my back was turned. I guess they wander pretty freely around here, suburban New Jersey being their native habitat and all. And I can’t imagine I would have noticed it lumbering about eating everything that moves because it’s an apex goddamn predator. Who made the report?” </p><p>“I’m sorry miss I can’t divulge…” he paused sucking in a breath, his eyes widening in shock. “What the fuck? Why is there a fucking pangolin in your store? They’re critically endangered. You can’t sell pangolins out of a crappy pet store in Asscrack New Jersey. What are you thinking? It’ll die.”</p><p>Now she was mad. On top of a terrible day, this guy was being a total dick. “No kidding. You’re a real Sherlock Holmes now aren’t you? There’s an animal shelter attached to the store. People bring animals. I look after them, try to rehome them. A guy brought me Alonso here and said he was going to turn him loose if I wouldn’t take him. He’d found out the hard way that you can’t cage them because of the digging and that almost anything is better as a house pet. I assume he didn’t realise that some people think Alonso would be good eating and would pay obscene amounts for his meat. So I took him in before he became dinner and rang you guys a week ago to turn him over. Still waiting. But apparently you get a hard on for a Komodo and rush right over here. Mammals not your kink I guess.”</p><p>He looked a little uncomfortable. “I’m just the reptile guy. They send me out for snakes usually. I happen to have experience. Not a kink.” Oh it was definitely a kink Betty thought. Reptile guys were like d&amp;d guys or guys who catalogued things for fun. They’re terrified of women but give them a spreadsheet of track lengths on prog rock concept albums or a set of rules for who can pick up the goblet in the dwarf king’s lair and they get instantly aroused. This guy, for example...well actually this guy might not be totally one of “those guys.” They tended to be on the shlubby side whereas he was tall and slender. They wore their greasy hair over the collar or even in the dreaded ponytail. Officer Jones had glossy dark waves, falling attractively into his eyes. And what eyes they were. Long eyelashes, a fine arched brow and irises the colour of the head of a blue jay.  Betty realised she was staring and picked up her rant but with rather less conviction. </p><p>“Well assuming you have grasped that some busybody can’t tell the difference between a reptile and a mammal, you know I don’t have a Komodo. Can you be trusted to take Alonso where he needs to go or are you just going to leave him here, digging up my floor and making the place stink?”</p><p>“Well, like I say, I’m the reptile guy.” He caught sight of Betty’s expression. “But I can make a call. Wait  a sec.” He grabbed his phone and scrolled through contacts. He kept glancing at her as it rang. Betty guessed he was scared of her. She knew she looked terrible and probably smelled worse than Alonso. “Wendy? Oh thank god. It’s Jughead. I’m in New Jersey with a pangolin. What do you suggest?”</p><p>Betty generally much preferred animals to people, understood them better, but there were certain things about humans that she really liked. Language was one of them. What he’d just said, “It’s Jughead. I’m in New Jersey with a pangolin,” just shouldn't make sense. That combination of sounds had certainly never been uttered before and yet she could hear the mysterious Wendy whooping for joy at their import.  The “Jughead” bit was a puzzle, sure, but Betty was absolutely in favour of people being able to define themselves in whatever way they chose so she wasn’t about to judge. He was waving inordinately long fingers at her now to attract her attention. To her chagrin she found it was already attracted. “Wendy says she’ll take Alonso.  She runs a conservancy project for exotics rescued from trade down in Virginia. I know it. She’s good people. No visitors, no Tiger King shit. She can send out the transport tonight and they’ll be here early tomorrow. That OK?”</p><p>Betty could have kissed him. She took a second to convince herself that it was just because she was so damn grateful to have Alonso safe and off her hands. She grinned at him and nodded, tears starting to spring up in her eyes. “Hey, it’s a good thing isn’t it? Aren’t you happy?”</p><p>“No I am. Totally. It’s just...well you’re the first person who’s actually helped me in longer than I can remember.  It’s just nice to get a little support. I’m out of my depth really. That's why I was being a bitch before. Thanks. Thanks a lot... Jughead?”</p><p>“Yeah, long story but it’s better than the real thing. And you’re Elizabeth?” he queried, glancing at his paperwork.</p><p>“Betty,” she corrected with a weak smile.</p><p>“Well Betty, you don’t seem out of your depth. You’ve kept a pangolin alive for over a week so you’re doing something right. Look, write your number here and I’ll get Wendy to text you or call you and let you know how your guy is doing. OK? And you’re sure there’s no Komodo?” She made a gesture to indicate the total lack of enormous monster lizard. “Well good. Snakes are my thing. I’m slightly weirded out by lizards. And ones that tear off your leg and poison you with their spit... not really my speed.” He grinned, made a small ironic salute and ambled out of the door and out of her life. She knew that hot guys didn’t make passes at girls who didn’t shower and lived with smelly anteaters but it still made her sad. But this was her life now so she sighed,  flipped the store sign and went upstairs to feed and bathe the kittens. Again.</p><p>Three weeks later her crises were different but similar in scale and content. She had taken on a shitsu who was blind and incontinent and who howled if she was left in a pen. Consequently she’d taken to carrying her around. The incontinence was mostly ameliorated with doggy diapers but carrying an old, toothless, drooling dog with a soiled diaper under your arm was not a “lewk” as far as she was aware. She was locking up the store for the night when her phone rang. “Hi Betty? It’s Jughead. Do you remember?”</p><p>As if she could forget the only guy to have made an impression in the last six months. “Yeah sure. How are you Jughead?”  She was trying so hard to be cool she was probably coming over as lobotomised.</p><p>“I’m fine, thanks.  How’s Alonso?” She was impressed that he’d remembered his name and even more impressed that he used it rather than just saying “the pangolin” as almost anyone else would.</p><p>“Wendy rang a couple of days ago. They had a tough time getting his diet sorted but he’s doing good now.  She invited me down to see him.” Betty had been grateful but there was no way she could go. She was needed at the store. </p><p>“Hey, that’s great news. Look  I’m in Montclair and I’ve got a situation. I’ve just seized thirty prohibited snakes from a property and there are several cats and dogs here and...well. The guy seems to have been having some mental health issues.  They’re in pretty poor shape.  My colleague thinks we should just bite the bullet and have them euthanised but then I thought of you and you’re only forty five minutes away.  There’s no pressure.  It was just a thought. Perhaps I shouldn’t have called.”</p><p>“No, it’s fine. What’s wrong with them? Malnourishment?”</p><p>“Yeah, no grooming, some claw injuries, dehydration. Nothing terrible really but it’s going to take a lot of nurturing and I don’t know about the behavioural issues so...”</p><p>“Behavioural issues are kind of my speciality. Do you want me to drive over now?” She didn’t exactly know how she’d face the drive and still be able to do the evening feeds and look after Elspeth who she was pretty sure had filled her diaper again but if she needed to then she would just suck it up as usual.  </p><p>“No, hey not at all. If you’re going to do me the favour I’ll totally drive them over to you.  Are you sure? I know it’s a big ask.”  She assured him that she was prepared to help, he hung up and Betty found herself running up the stairs to her apartment instead of out back to the pens.</p><p>“What the hell are you doing Betty?” she asked herself as she opened her closet, staring at the sweat pants and oversized sweaters that reproached her with her total lack of self care. She seemed unable to stop herself fumbling for the sole pair of jeans she possessed and pulling them on.  She was a little shocked at how loose they hung on her hips.  Eating had started to take less priority than feeding the animals and she sometimes climbed in to her bed exhausted only to realise she had forgotten to eat dinner…or lunch.  She really wasn’t looking after herself.  She found the cleanest and least snagged sweater before considering make up.  She didn’t think it would be wise to greet Officer Jones with a red lip and a smokey eye.  He’d surely run a mile and she’d feel like a clown.  She tried to conceal the panda rings under her eyes and put on a little mascara.  It was surprising how much difference it made.  Sure she still looked tired but she looked like a tired human woman rather than a balled up Kleenex on legs.</p><p>Then she went and prepared five pens, found basic medications and put a pot of coffee on the stove. She had time now to think about her response to his call.  She had taken no persuasion at all to accept five new animals and had tried pathetically to make herself look nice for him.  She could claim that she was wearing mascara for her but since she hadn’t worn it “for her” in about three months that explanation was just not going to fly. She had to admit it.  She was interested in Jughead Jones in a more than professional capacity. While her days were far too busy to have spent very much time thinking about his soft hair or his full lips she had definitely thought about them everyday.  She’d wondered who he went home to.  Was it floor to ceiling vivariums chez Jones or was there a Mrs Jones who danced naked for him with a python round her shoulders?  What was it with the snakes anyway?  Was he compensating for something? She realised with a start that she had started to think about Officer Jones’ snakes in a sordid way. She blushed even though she was alone and when he finally rapped on the shop door she found she was unable to meet his eye.</p><p>He brought in two cages containing sad looking beagles followed by three more with increasingly angry, hissing cats.  He’d taken off the uniform shirt so he wore just the dark tank top over his trousers. She noticed that he had a tattoo of a snake on his bicep. It seemed incongruous. The snake was his vibe obviously but the tattoo was pretty crude and cartoony especially since the snake had two heads, both adorned with little gold crowns.  She dragged her attention away from his arms and assured him that she could manage the animals from here but he insisted on helping the new guests to get settled in.  He had a confident, unfussy energy with them that she found soothing and she realised that, like her, he was more himself with them.  She couldn’t help smiling at him as they closed the last pen door.  “Thanks for staying to help.  I guess you have a long drive.  I have coffee if you want some.”</p><p>“Coffee would be great.  As strong and as black as possible please.  I’m going to be driving back with the windows open and Cannibal Corpse turned up to eleven. I’ve been on the road since five this morning.”  She poured him coffee and he grinned ruefully over his cup, his eyes seeming  even more strikingly blue than before.</p><p>“Or you could stay.”  Now his eyes flashed in surprise and she realised what she’d said.  She had blurted it without any intent at all.   “Oh god, I mean, I have a spare room.  You’re welcome to break the journey and head back fresh.  I didn’t mean…”</p><p>“No, no, of course not.  I didn’t think you meant…anything.  I couldn’t put you out though.”</p><p>“Doesn’t put me out.  The bed’s made up.  The offer’s there.  I’d hate for you to total the agency’s vehicle because you were driving an extra ninety minutes to drop in here.”</p><p>“Well if you’re sure. That’s really kind.  Thanks. I’ll just call my sister so she’s not worrying.” Betty hoped he wasn’t wondering why that remark had made her smile like a fool.</p><p>They sat up over coffee and later grilled cheese and then cocoa.  He wanted to know why she was trying to rescue all the abandoned and mistreated pets in New Jersey single handed.  She explained how she’d taken a job at Oscar’s, how she’d planned to go to vet school the next year, about Oscar himself.</p><p>“He was so great Jughead. He’d been here fifty years, as a kid when his uncle owned it and then on his own when he inherited it but he would always listen to my ideas. He didn’t scoff at the behavioural stuff, could see it made a difference to the owners and their animals. But he was so old school.  He was still selling people puppies to give their kids as Christmas gifts when I got here. I told him he couldn’t do that shit but he didn’t really get it until I took him to one of the big shelters and they explained what happened in January when the kids got bored and parents got mad. And he stopped. He’d just tell people to take their kids to a rescue centre in January if they wanted a cat or a dog. Or he’d tell them to start with a fish or a rat and move up to a dog if the kid could be responsible with that first. I kind of loved him.” Betty’s eyes filled with unshed tears but she shrugged her shoulders and continued. “Anyway, we refocused the store, selling feed and bedding, I ran kids’ classes on pet care, and did behavioural house calls, puppy classes. It was pretty great. And we had the empty pens so when someone brought in a stray it just seemed mean not to take her in. And then there were more strays and people who couldn’t afford their pets or couldn’t manage them if they got sick and suddenly we were running a shelter.” </p><p>“OK, you accidentally started to run an animal shelter.  I totally see how that could happen to a person.  Not paying attention and suddenly, oops, pangolins all over the place.”</p><p>“Yeah OK, reptile guy.  I bet there’s a story there too.”</p><p>“There may be.  But this is yours.  Carry on.”</p><p>“Right, so Oscar and I are running the store and a more than full time animal shelter and we’ve got all these hard to home animals.” She gestured towards poor incontinent Elspeth who was at that moment cuddled into the crook of Jughead’s arm, snoring and drooling on him, although thankfully not as smelly as she often was.  </p><p>“Well I’d totally take this one home if she wouldn’t be sure to be an appetiser for a hungry boa at my place. She’s precious.”</p><p>“Not when she has a dirty diaper she isn’t. Anyway one morning I arrive for work and the store still has the shutters down. I could hear the animals in back kicking up a racket and I just know that something’s wrong, like badly wrong.  I called 911.  Oscar had passed in his sleep.  I went up and he looked completely at peace. It was a good death I suppose.  Certainly it was what he would have chosen.  Massive stroke.  He just never woke up.  And I had to do the morning feeds and open the shop.  Tough day. Might have been the toughest. And then his attorney called and told me that Oscar had changed his will a month before and that the store was mine. And I don’t know what to say about that.”</p><p>Jughead just listened.  He was a great listener.  She hadn’t talked this much in months, maybe years. Eventually he asked “What about going back to school?”</p><p>“I can’t afford it.  There’s the feed bills and the medicine bills and the business taxes. It might never happen.”</p><p>“You could sell the store.”</p><p>“I couldn’t.  Oscar left it to me.  He trusted me.  And I can’t abandon the animals.” He nodded but he seemed to want to say something else. “What?”</p><p>“Nothing. None of my business. I guess I’ll turn in if that’s OK. Long drive in the morning.” He smiled at her and the full blaze of his attention seemed to seep into her bones like sunshine at the beach. She told him where to find towels and extra pillows and headed off to lie in bed looking at the ceiling. She indulged herself, imagining how it would feel to hear him getting out of the guest bed, imagining his footsteps outside her door. The door handle turning slowly, the mattress sinking as he got into bed next to her, his hands on her body, his lips on her neck. She could almost feel his soft hair brushing over her breasts and stomach as he pushed her knees apart and moved down to kiss her inner thighs. She realised with a start that her fingers were inside her pyjamas and that her breathing was fast and shallow. She jumped out of bed and crossed the room to pull the window open and leaned out into the cool air. What was wrong with her? He was a polite guy who looked after animals and had needed a bed for the night.  He certainly had no interest in her.  What did she think she had to offer him?</p><p>She awoke at six to the smell of fresh coffee. Jughead was in the kitchen in his undershirt cooking eggs. She stood in the doorway for a moment letting herself imagine that this was really her life, a beautiful man making her breakfast, humming under his breath as he worked. She wanted it so much that she had to turn a sob into a cough that made him turn around, smiling. “Hey, morning. I hope you don’t mind. I guessed you’d be up early with that menagerie to deal with. I checked up on the newbies already. All seem OK. By the way you’ve got a python back there. Do you want me to take her off you?”</p><p>“Wow, Bernard’s a she? How do you know?”</p><p>“I may or may not have probed your python’s cloaca while you were asleep. I’ll deny everything if you report me. Yeah Bernard is Bernadette and it’s a little moist for her in the tank.”</p><p>“Well she’d clearly be better off with you. Please, help yourself. And try to avoid using the words cloaca and moist together at breakfast time maybe? Thanks.”</p><p>He actually giggled.  It was very appealing. Like everything else about him.</p><p>They ate eggs and drank coffee and talked about the day ahead like a companionable married couple. As their meal drew to an end Jughead kept meeting her eye and then looking back intently at his plate. She wondered if he was going to ask her out on a date and then dismissed that as a ridiculous fantasy.  Then she remembered her thoughts of the night before and blushed.  Now she was embarrassed to meet his eye again.  He went to the truck to get a travelling box for Bernadette and Betty watched him reach into her enclosure with such calm assurance and respect that she felt her own heartbeat slow.  He held his hand near Bernadette’s head for a moment so she could taste his scent and not be startled and then reached down and picked her up carefully but confidently by the mid section.  Betty had to admit that she felt nervous handling snakes, worried that she would inadvertently hurt them, but Jug waited for the python to curl around his wrist and forearm and then slowly brought his hand from the tank.  Bernadette flicked her tongue curiously and twined round and round his wrist. Jughead smiled at Betty, enjoying the animal’s beauty. “I think she’s forgiven me for the cloaca impertinence.” He secured her in the travel box and they walked out to the truck.  Betty felt like there was something unsaid hanging tantalisingly between them but she didn’t know what it was and before she could interrogate it he was pulling away, waving his hand out of the window and her chance was gone.</p><p>She thought about him all day.  When she was cleaning and disinfecting pens, when she was dialling out for pizza, when she was cleaning up poor Elspeth.  She thought about him all the time.  He was coming to represent something to her.  He was a symbol of the life that she wanted but that was drifting further away from her everyday. She just didn’t know how to claw any of it back. She sat in the kitchen remembering him, as he ate grilled cheese sandwiches, as he took care of a helpless old dog, as he handled a snake like she wanted him to handle her. The fact that she couldn’t even imagine a world where he could be hers meant that her life had gotten broken.  It simply wouldn’t do.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Forge My Armour in the Old Fire</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Ethel shockingly turned up for work the next morning Betty set her to work and went and sat at her computer, searching for financial aid for veterinary students. There was a scholarship at Columbia for a female student of restricted means who had a particular interest in animal rescue work. It seemed like an omen. She worked on her application until it was time to do the feeds and close up the shop. If she was accepted she had no idea how she would manage the store but it was a statement of intent, the first adjustment to her course.  She felt more energised and hopeful than she had in months, perhaps since Oscar had died.</p><p>She was pouring water over ramen when he called.  Her screen said “Reptile guy” because she’d stored the number last time he called.  That wouldn’t do at all.  Maybe she should change it to “hot snake guy.” She’d made herself giggle so that when she answered the call she snorted a little.  Sexy. “Hi Jughead. What’s up?”</p><p>“Hi Betty.  You OK? Look I’m just going to ask.  If it’s a no then that’s fine.  No worries.  Just say no and we’ll forget it.  Forget I asked.  No, right. OK”</p><p>“Jughead.  You haven’t asked.  What is it?” She was smiling and trying to lower her expectations.  He was probably going to ask her to take in a three legged cat or a dog with mange.</p><p>“I have to take twelve rescued cobras to Wendy this weekend.  Do you feel like a road trip to see Alonso?”</p><p>Her heart soared and then immediately crashed back down to earth. “Umm, animal shelter.  Remember?” She so wanted to go on a road trip with the “hot snake guy.” She wanted to do almost anything, go anywhere with him.  But there was Elspeth and three new geckos and even if Ethel turned up in the morning there was no way she could be trusted with all of that.</p><p>“OK.  I can’t really read subtext over the phone.  Can we just be clear? Are you saying, “Yes, I’d like to go but I have practical considerations,” or are you saying "I’d rather be bitten by a Komodo and I’m pleased that I have these practical issues so I can make a polite excuse.”  Either is totally fine.  I’d honestly rather know.”</p><p>“I’d like option A please Jug. I’d love a break, I can close the store but there are beagles and geckos and Elspeth.  Believe me, you don’t want to be on the road with Elspeth.”</p><p>“OK, granted but I have a solution. My colleague Toni can either go with me to share the driving or, if you want, she can stay at your place and take charge and you can come with me.  She’s more than capable of taking care of Elspeth.”</p><p>“I can’t ask her to do that.  That’s not fair.”</p><p>“First, you’re not asking her, I am.  And second, her girlfriend’s going to drive out from the city so they can have the weekend together instead of Toni being stuck with me. Third, she loves me and lives to make me happy.  Right Toni?”  </p><p>Betty heard a voice in the background say “Dream on Jones.” </p><p>“So what do you say?”</p><p>“Yes please Jughead.  I’d like to go and see Alonso. Thank you.”  Betty’s heart was in her mouth.  A week ago everything had felt so wrong, like she was wearing a life that had been tailored for someone completely different to her and now, there was just the chance that she could put on a different life, one that fitted her, made her feel more herself.  She couldn’t help imagining that he could be part of that life, her real, authentic life. All night the excitement kept crashing back over her in waves every time that she remembered that she was going to Virginia with Jughead Jones.  She smiled and hugged her arms around herself.  </p><p>His truck pulled into the parking lot alongside the store on Saturday morning at eight.  A tiny girl with pink hair and a leather jacket sprang out as soon as it came to a stop.  She looked Betty up and down and then looked back at Jughead as he climbed out.  “OK, now I get it.  When he said he wanted to take a lady called Betty to Virginia I was imagining someone older.  Not a smokeshow. But you’re exactly the type of girl that would make Jones hot under the collar.  Hey Jones?”</p><p>“Thanks Toni.  Don’t worry about making me feel embarrassed. Oh, no you weren’t.  Sorry Betty.”  His cheekbones were dusted with pink and he was scuffing the toe of his boot into the dirt like a tongue tied kid.  It was the most adorable thing Betty had ever seen.  </p><p>“OK smokeshow.  Show me the ropes.” So Betty explained the feeding regimen to her and showed her the medicines. She had written everything down but when she started to hypothesise about possible emergencies Toni stopped her.  “You need to get on the road girl.  I’ll just call if I need you.”</p><p>“Yeah but you’ll really try not to won’t you Topaz?  Like really try hard,” Jughead said with a threatening tone in his voice and Toni stretched up on her tiptoes to ruffle his hair.  “Don’t worry Jones.  It’ll be fine.  Even the stinky dog.”</p><p>They were on the road by nine a.m. With the windows rolled down and the radio on, as she passed him sour patch kids, she’d never felt happier.  She felt like he knew her history but she was in the dark as to the origin story of reptile guy.  Was it corny to ask him to tell her all about himself she wondered?  Eventually she went with a more direct question.  “So Jug, tell me about the tattoo.”</p><p>He rubbed a hand across it reflectively as if he’d forgotten that it existed.  “You want the whole story or the abridged version?”</p><p>“Whole story please.  It’s a long way to Virginia.”</p><p>He told her about his dad’s alcoholism, his arrest.  He told her about the gang that had taken on some degree of responsibility for him when his dad was incarcerated.  “There was an initiation, there always is.  You have to do dumb shit to prove what a man you are.  Because being a man means doing dumb shit apparently. Anyway serpent law requires you to catch hold of a rattlesnake with a bare hand before they’ll give you the tatt. And I was sixteen years old with no parental support.  I really needed this tatt. Anyway, let me tell you, I parseltongued the shit out of that task. Somehow that snake and I just reached an understanding right away.”  Betty laughed and he looked at her, startled.</p><p>“Sorry, it’s just…you’re pretty unique.  No-one else tells the story of their gang initiation with geeky Harry Potter references.  Don’t get me wrong it’s a good combo.  Bad boy meets nerd. Oh… you’re a male Lisbeth Salander!”</p><p>“I’m much less bad ass than the girl with the dragon tattoo. Anyway a rapport with our anguine brethren earned me some respect in the gang and it turned out most of the guys had pet snakes.  Went with the general aesthetic I suppose.  So I read up on them and established myself as a sort of unofficial snake whisperer. Later on Wendy turned me onto the fact that there are actual legal jobs that made use of a talent with snakes and I saw there was a way out for me and my sister JB.  She’s in college, premed, and I can pay our way so it’s all good.”</p><p>“But not what you’d dreamed?  Am I right?  Was there something else?”</p><p>“I’m a writer, in my bones.  I guess I’d hoped that maybe I could go to college, study literature, write, maybe teach. But it was more important to take care of JB. I have a good job, steady pay.  It’s hard to pass that up when you come from the trailer park by way of the shady side of legal income. “</p><p>“But you can write, in the evenings, at the weekends?  At least when you aren’t taking cobras on vacation.”</p><p>“Yeah, but somehow, when you’re working more than nine to five and running a house it just seems to retreat.  I sit down to write now and I feel rusty.  It takes a few hours to get it back and by then I have to stop.  There are glimpses of what I had but they get further and further away. And when it’s gone I don’t really know who I’ll be. God, listen to me.  Way to bring the vibe down.  Tell me about vet school.  Why that?”</p><p>And Betty told him about when she was eleven and her cat Caramel had been run over.  How her dad had told her that either she or he needed to put her out of her misery.  How she’d grabbed the inert pile of ginger fluff and run with her to the veterinarian’s office.  For some reason Dr Greene had taken a shine to Betty and treated Caramel without hope of payment.  After the cat had recovered from her surgeries she told Betty to come by the office after school.  She said she’d let her work to pay off the bills but even eleven year old Betty realised it was to give her a safe haven away from a suburban home where things were positively Lynchian. Her mom was a neurotic control freak and there was something very dark, possibly dangerous in her father. Betty loved working with the nurses, helping animals recover from surgery, even cleaning up after the “accidents.”  She liked being able to comfort people who had lost their dearest friends and companions.  She made sympathy cards for each person who was bereaved, writing a comforting note inside each one.  She studied animal behaviour alongside her schoolwork and helped with the puppy classes.  At Rutgers she majored in animal science and found animal behaviour classes to join but then in senior year her parents divorced.  Her dad disappeared from her life and her mom joined a religious commune, taking all Betty’s financial support with her.  So Oscar’s pet store and a life gone awry.</p><p>“What would Oscar say if he knew that you hadn’t gone back to school?  That you were trapped by his will? I mean, when he saw what was happening in the shelters he changed his behaviour, right? When he saw he was making it worse.”</p><p>“I guess.  But it’s too late now isn’t it.  It's my responsibility.” Jug just responded with a non committal sound.  It was a new thought though.  What had Oscar intended?  Certainly not her unhappiness.  “We’re kind of the same, aren’t we?” Betty observed. “It’s fine and yet it’s not fine.  I’m 25.  I’m scared that one day I’ll look up and notice that I’m 40 and I missed my life.  I want a career where I can actually make a difference for animals but I want a relationship and a family too. How am I going to get them when I don’t always have time to brush my teeth? And you’re a great brother and you’re the reptile guy but that’s not who you set out to be, right? Do you think we can get back on track?”</p><p>“Well I’m feeling like I’m exactly where I want to be right now,” he said and then burst into gales of laughter.  “That was, literally, the cringiest thing I’ve ever said in my life.  I’m so sorry.”</p><p>“I liked it.  Always feel free to be cringey with me.”  He grinned at her and it was mesmeric.  She wanted to kiss him but she restrained herself.  Maybe she was reading it all wrong.  Imagine if she leaned in and he leaned back. “So tell me about Wendy. Who is she?”</p><p>“Oh I can’t explain Wendy. You’ll have to see for yourself. It’s a whole thing.”</p><p>In the mid afternoon they arrived in Fairfax but Jug kept right on driving, through the town and out the other side.  He made an abrupt left onto a road lined with huge cedars.  As they made a turn, a colonnaded white-painted mansion house came into view on a gentle rise. It looked like Tara. As they pulled up out front a middle aged woman in a punk aesthetic shift dress printed with lizards appeared with a huge apricot coloured snake wrapped around her waist and shoulders. Jug jumped out of the truck and jogged over.  “Well hello there Clementine. It’s so good to see you baby. Hi Wendy.  Can I?” He held his wrist out towards the snake.  Wendy just took a step back as Clementine transferred herself across to wrap around Jug's neck.  Her tongue flickered twice and then stilled.</p><p>Wendy looked over at Betty.  “This creature loves Jughead.  I’ve never seen a snake remember someone like this.  She’ll just go right to sleep now, see if she doesn’t.  It’s a great love story.”</p><p>Jug was allowing Clementine to twine around his waist and over one arm and checking her over as she did it.  He smiled at Betty, completely in his element. “Wendy, this is Betty, pangolin rescuer and animal advocate.  Betty this is Ms Wendy Addison Fairfax, debutante, heiress, terrorist and activist. And this is the fair Clementine who I pulled out of the trash ten years ago and who introduced me to Wendy.”</p><p>Betty had an uneasy suspicion that watching Jones handle snakes was a previously unanticipated kink of hers. It made her want to be touched by him just like that. She noticed Wendy looking at her intently and as their eyes met Wendy grinned and winked. Busted, she thought. </p><p>Wendy summoned a couple of her employees to help Jug unload the cobras and get them acclimated to their new home and took Betty off to the enclosure where Alonso was sleeping in shade near a huge termite mound looking as happy as a sleeping anteater could. Wendy leaned back on a sturdy metal fence and assessed Betty. “So you really want him huh?”</p><p>“Who, Alonso?”</p><p>“Don’t play dumb with me lady. Dumb doesn’t suit you at all. I’ve known that kid ten years, never heard him talk about a girl but suddenly it’s all Betty’s pangolin, Betty’s animal shelter, Betty, Betty, Betty. You’d better not hurt him. He’s a noble creature and I love him. And Betty, when I love something there’s nothing I won’t do to keep it safe.”</p><p>“Well we’re just friends.  There’s nothing going on between us so...”</p><p>“You’d better hurry up and make it happen then my girl.  You know how it works, the female chooses her breeding partner. Lions, hyenas, songbirds, bonobos.. all those males desperate to be chosen, females trying to pick the best one. If you’ve picked Jug then you’ve passed the first test. And, he’s so gone for you. You’re a lucky girl. If I was twenty years younger...There’s nothing more sexy than a man who has no idea he’s sexy.”</p><p>“God I know,” Betty groaned her agreement and Wendy burst into hoots of laughter. </p><p>“Better hurry up. All that frustration has to be bad for a young woman. It’ll get your fallopian tubes in a knot.”</p><p>They strolled back to the house companionably. Wendy told her it had been built by a forbearer in 1796. “White Cedars it’s called. So my ancestor named it and then planted the avenue to make it make sense. If you can name the future you can make it happen. That’s how it’s always seemed to me.”</p><p>“How did you come to start the centre though?” Betty asked.</p><p>“I was the only child of one of the most privileged families in Virginia and everyone expected me to be one of those proper ladies who marry well and run charities but I couldn’t fit. I liked most animals and despised most people. For a long time I tried to be what my parents needed but it just wouldn’t stick. Then in the eighties I got involved in animal liberation. There might have been a little light sabotage. Maybe a little recreational arson. My papa  made the charges go away but he was all for cutting me out of the family. But then papa died. Massive coronary out on the golf course. Mama never really got over it, just took to her room and turned into a ghost. And suddenly  I had a place where I could bring animals that were in trouble. Pangolins in pet stores, monitor lizards that people wanted to grind up into medicine, capuchins that celebrity idiots dress up and laugh at.”</p><p>“And how did you meet Jug?”</p><p>“One day I got a call from a kid. He told me he had a 25 foot reticulated python and that she needed more space than he could give her. I was chewing him out about irresponsible ownership when he told me he’d fished her out of a dumpster outside an exotic dance joint. She’d been almost dead from cold and neglect. Retics can be mean, especially if they haven’t been handled properly when they’re young but he said he’d socialised her. He had, you saw her. She’s as gentle as a lamb. I drove up to fetch her and he’s keeping her in a trailer! God knows how. Anyway he obviously had some kind of gift with snakes but I could see the living situation wasn’t great. He was sixteen years old, no parent, gang guys throwing him some cash when they thought of it, struggling to go to school with no help. He needed rescuing as much as the snake. I tried to bring him here but he wouldn’t move away from his little sister in the foster system, god knows how he’d kept out of it himself.  So I filled the refrigerator, packed up Clementine and paid him a couple of thousand dollars for her. He knew he could have sold her and he was hurting for cash but instead he’d found somewhere safe for her. We kept in touch, he came down here for a couple of days when things were dangerous for him at home, he always arrived bruised and battered but he never talked about it. Once he’d graduated high school I put him in touch with someone I knew in Fish and Wildlife. Federal government is crappy at protecting wildlife but he needed a steady income and if good people are in the agency it’ll get better instead of worse so...”</p><p>Betty put a hand on Wendy’s elbow. “He said you’re good people. He’s right. Thanks for looking after Alonso and him and Clementine and all the rest.”</p><p>“I’ve always hoped he’d come down here and work at White Cedars one day. I want to do more conservancy out in the wild. He’d be great at that. And he could set his own hours. Maybe write on the side. But he needs to get his sister through her education. One day maybe. Hey Jug?”</p><p>They were back at the house and Jug was leaning against one of the colonnades watching them, a beer in his hand and a smile on his lips. “Have you two checked each other out? Friends?”</p><p>“We’d rather check you out, hot stuff” Wendy teased. He blushed and shuffled his feet as Betty and Wendy laughed at his bashfulness.</p><p>They ate dinner in a colonial era dining room that made Betty feel like she was in a historical movie.  The constant appearance of unexpected animals was unusual but Betty found she enjoyed discovering a ball python on the back of her chair and a macaw strutting across the table. Most of Wendy’s employees ate with them and it felt like a raucous family gathering with lots of teasing and laughter. It highlighted how meagre her life had become and she became even more determined that everything had to change. Eventually everyone except Wendy had drifted away to their homes and their beds and Betty couldn’t conceal her yawning. “Bedtime them,” declared their hostess. “Jug, you’re in your normal room. I’ve put Betty next door in case she needs something in the night. Just to be clear Jug, you could just go next door in the night to give Betty what she needs. Yeah?”</p><p>He blushed furiously and Betty had to stare down at the table so he wouldn’t see how hard she was trying not to laugh. “God Wendy, we’re human beings not pandas in a captive breeding programme.” he muttered.</p><p>She laughed and took herself off to bed. “I’m so sorry Betty. She’s as subtle as a charging rhinoceros.”</p><p>Betty looked up into his eyes, making sure she had his full attention. “But Jug, I think I might need something in the night.” He laughed and gasped at the same time which turned into a cough which made her laugh until tears ran down her cheeks. “My turn to be cringey.”</p><p>“Oh  no, that wasn’t cringey at all. If you’re anticipating that you might need me maybe I had better just come in right away.” He took her hand and she reached up to stroke her fingers along his jawline.</p><p>“I think that would be for the best,” she whispered as he leaned down to softly kiss her cheek. </p><p>Her bedroom was redolent of faded magnificence.  She could easily imagine holding onto one of the tall bedposts while another girl pulled the laces on her stays tight.  There were beautiful framed prints on the walls and heavy brocaded drapes but there was also a thin layer of dust. It was quite clear that Wendy cared about getting an anteater exactly the right kind of termite and not whether the picture frames got dusted this week. Betty liked that.  He stood just inside the door, looking hesitant. “You OK?” she asked quietly.</p><p>“Nervous” he said quietly with a half smile.</p><p>“We don’t have to…if you’d rather not…”</p><p>“No God.  I do.  I want this.  I want you.  I just… I don’t do this much.  There’s work and the snakes and there’s JB at home.  I just closed everything off.  I’m awkward and I’m kind of inexperienced and you’re…  Well you’re amazing and so I feel kind of weird.”</p><p>“Hey Jug.  I’ve had sex with precisely two people in my life. I haven’t done anything with anyone for almost two years. But I’ve been thinking about you ever since we met.  Thinking about you in a way that I haven’t thought about anyone for the longest time.  I feel bad about myself. I haven’t been looking after myself, haven’t been running like I need to to stay healthy.  I shaved my legs this morning for the first time in months. Can we just be kind and look for the good in each other?”</p><p>“Did you shave your legs because you thought…”</p><p>“I didn’t even hope but I thought that if I got you to put your hand on my leg and it felt like stroking Elspeth that would be a disaster.  Shall we sit down?”</p><p>They sat on the edge of the bed and he took her hands in his.  “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do Betts.  I’m not smooth.  I have no game.” He looked so soft and so sad that she rested her head against his shoulder and he started to stroke his hands through her hair.  She pressed her head against him a little and made a contented noise. It gave him confidence and he moved his fingers from her hair to her neck and, when he touched her collar bone she arched her head back to give him better access.  She looked into his eyes, noticing that they glittered with excitement.  She undid the buttons on her shirt and let it fall open.  He looked at her before reaching towards her slowly, running the flats of his hands down her flanks, over the sides of her breasts and down to her hip. “Oh,” he murmured.</p><p>“”What is it Jug?” she asked under her breath.</p><p>“I said I didn’t know what to do but as soon as I started to touch you, there are so many things I want to do.  I want to put my mouth all over you, I want to stroke you everywhere, I want to make love to you, so much.”</p><p>She reached her head back and he leaned down and kissed her softly.  She opened her mouth, running her tongue across his lower lip and he groaned and shifted so he could put his hand over her breast. She reached behind her back and unclipped her bra and his hand was under it, squeezing her nipple between his fingers and making her gasp and moan into his mouth. He broke away from the kiss and stared at her.  “Fuck Betty, you’re incredible.  I’m so hard.”</p><p>She kissed him again and put her hand firmly over the bulge in his jeans, not moving, letting him get used to the sensation first. He moaned into her open mouth.  It was unbelievably erotic and her fingers fumbled at his belt, unable to undo it with one hand. “Oh Jug, just get undressed.  Please.”</p><p>They scrambled out of their clothes and she flung herself against him, feeling the taut muscles of his chest against her breasts.  She reached down and stroked her hand along him, gently but purposefully and he breathed out while he trembled.  He pushed against her, moving her towards the bed and put a hand behind her to lay her down.  He stood over her for a moment, taking her in and then he lay himself alongside her.  Suddenly he had found the confidence that she had found so attractive when she saw him interact with animals.  He ran his hands over her again, exploring, taking his time. His hand was on her belly now, moving slowly downwards and he looked at her carefully, looking for a sign that she wanted him to stop so she moved her knees apart and he smiled to himself, happy to have understood what she wanted.  He put his hand on her, stroking her, watching her to see what made her moan or writhe, quickly understanding her, reading her body. He began to breathe faster and then one of his long fingers moved inside her and she made a whining noise, wanting more. He stroked her as his fingers moved into her and she began to pant as he moved her towards her orgasm.  Her hand reached out and grabbed his bicep as she came, her nails digging into the snake tattoo as she shuddered and gasped.  Now she was looking up at him, unable to believe that she was with him, that he was being so good to her.  “Jug, tell me what you want.  Do you want my mouth?”</p><p>“I won’t last Betts.  I’m holding on here. I just want to make love to you.  I want to be inside you.”  </p><p>Betty rummaged for a moment in her backpack, emerging with a packet of condoms.  She had felt embarrassed  when she put them in her basket at the drugstore.  “Who do you think you’re kidding lady?” she’d reproached herself. Ha, she thought.  I win.</p><p>“Girl Scout?” He smiled at her when he saw what she was holding.<br/>
“Same principle as the shaving” she smiled and tore open the package.  She was able to get the condom onto him without disaster ensuing and she lay on her side to see what he wanted. </p><p>“Do you want to be on top Betts.  Don’t girls like that better?”</p><p>“I’m good, Juggy.  You’re a little ragged aren’t you?  Don’t worry.  You can’t disappoint me, you made me feel so good already.”</p><p>He rested on one elbow above her as she guided him and he sank into her with a sigh.  “Oh Betts.  It’s so good. You’re so amazing.” He was slow and gentle with her, as if he was scared to hurt her so she encouraged him deeper by grabbing his beautiful ass and letting him feel her fingernails a little. He gasped and thrust harder and then began to use his hand on her too.  She felt the tension building again in her stomach.  His hair was brushing against her breast as he thrust now and he was making a moaning noise as he lost control and that pushed her over the edge, gasping and panting.  He shuddered as he came and she stroked his head and murmured to him as he sank onto her.</p><p>Later, after she’d pulled on his shirt to find a bathroom and he’d sought out glasses of water, they lay in her bed looking at each other, amazed. “Jug I don’t want that to be a one time thing.  Is that OK?” she asked, a little scared.</p><p>“Well I’m hoping it’ll be at least a two time thing before breakfast so…”</p><p>“You know what I mean. I don’t want to scare you off and I know I’m supposed to wait for you to call or whatever but that really mattered to me.  A lot.”</p><p>“Let’s not play all those stupid, who calls who games, Betts.  It mattered to me too.  I want to be yours.  I want you to be mine.  We’re together, right?”</p><p>“I’ve applied to Columbia for the fall.  I guess I’ll have to move.  I don’t know what to do about the shelter.  Or the store. My whole life is up in the air.  But I feel sure about you.”  She took his hand and held it over her heart.  </p><p>“Do you want to go back to the store after you qualify?  You could make it into a veterinary hospital.  It’s a decent piece of real estate. Or do you want to move on?”<br/>
“is it bad to not want to go back?  I feel like I’m disrespecting Oscar.  It was his life’s work.”</p><p>“That’s it though Betts.  His life’s work.  Not yours.  I never met him so I might be wrong but I think he gave it to you to set you free not to trap you.  To give you options not take them away.  That’s what people do when they love you, I mean really love you.  Isn’t it? I don’t really know.  I’ve only got JB. And maybe you now?”</p><p>“And Wendy.  She loves you Jug.  And you’re right.  She was saying she wants you to come and work for her one day but she’s letting you decide for yourself when the time’s right.  Giving you freedom.”</p><p>“So, we start homing the animals.  Between us we can get most of them placed before the fall.  You sell the store and use some money for school and some to take care of whatever animals you have left.  We both know we’re talking about Elspeth here don’t we?  Maybe if there’s enough you can set up a fund in Oscar’s name for animal rescue.”</p><p>She smiled at him.  He made it seem simple.  It was simple.  She’d just been blinkered by the drudgery of the everyday.  From outside it was all much clearer. </p><p>They spent the next morning with Wendy, admiring the work she was doing and being teased mercilessly for the unused bed in Jug’s room and their soft expressions when they looked at each other.  Wendy said that she should definitely get pandas since she was such an effective matchmaker. They left at lunchtime and arrived back in New Brunswick at six.  Toni’s girlfriend, Cheryl, was lounging on the couch, holding Elspeth when they walked in.  They made an incongruous pair, the willowy, glossy redhead and the small, grubby looking, drooling dog. “Can I have her?” Cheryl asked without preamble.  Betty looked at Jug uncertainly. </p><p>“What for Cheryl?  Are you planning to cook her?  Cast spells?” he asked with a hint of a smile.</p><p>Toni came in with her bag over her shoulder.  “Hey you two, play nice please.  Did you have a good…Oh, you DID, didn’t you?  Don’t worry Betty, it’s not written all over you.  I just happen to be one of a very few people familiar with Jones’ post coital expression. In fact it’s possibly just us two.”</p><p>“What is she the Hobo’s girlfriend now?” Cheryl enquired from the sofa.  “Well, he’s not so bad really.  Can I have this little munchkin?”</p><p> Betty was feeling overwhelmed by the onslaught.  Was Toni saying that she and Juggy had been lovers?  Did he really think that Cheryl had nefarious designs on poor Elspeth?  She looked to Juggy anxiously and he put an arm around her shoulders. </p><p>He turned to Betty and explained “Toni and I grew up together and we used to fool around a little until she told me that she preferred girls. She assures me that I didn’t put her off guys.  Cheryl may come off as the wicked witch of the west but she is, although she will deny it, a soft being that longs for unconditional love.  She and Elspeth may be a match made in heaven.  She is definitely not squeamish so the diapers probably won’t bother her.” He grinned and turned back to Toni, “Now if you two have finished freaking out my girlfriend you can get on the road.  Cheryl put the dog down.  If you still want her next week I’ll bring Betts over to check that your penthouse meets her high standard for adoption.”</p><p>There were two love affairs that started that weekend. Betty eventually got used to seeing Elspeth’s drooling little face staring out from her phone screen whenever she logged onto social media but it was more surprising when she became a viral sensation, alongside Cheryl, both dressed for Paris Fashion Week or the Met Ball.  The ads on the subway amused her; Elspeth promoting pet adoption as Betty rushed from clinic hours to class or from the library back to Jug and JB’s place, a bag of take-out Chinese on her lap.  All of them living their very best lives.</p>
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